Ballard Frankie - The power of lard

You never know
when it says you gotta go.

Hellfudge.

To them cheap motels down in Baton Rouge.

Hellfudge.

Roll down the window of the limousine.

Hellfudge.

I’ll pay you fifteen bucks if you’ll perform for me
(no more)

Hellfudge.

I ain’t givin’ you one penny more
gotta buy another TV station for the Lord.

Hellfudge.

Can you imagine what it’s like
to have to flash and pose.

Hellfudge.

While a fat TV preacher
sits and beats off in front of you…

Hellfudge.

Same one who’s so obsessed with,
with anti-smut crusades (fancy that).

Hellfudge.

Oh Lord,
someone let the air out of my tires.

Hellfudge.

I’m stuck – with my pants down
red-handed in sin
but with money like mine
the Lord always forgives – me.

When I’m dictator
you will ALL
be under the iron thumb of Jeezus
the law of the land
executions for witchcraft
televised live at five.

All Rock and Roll is pornography
that mixed coed swimming – PHOOEY!
I tell ya
it promotes problems of the flesh,
problems of the flesh,
the flesh,
the flesh,
the flesh.
I can’t stand it anymore.

My fundamentalist army’s
crackin’ down full swirl.

Hellfudge.

Polyester suit nazis
will control the world.

Hellfudge.

If you think Khomeini
is a step back in time.

Hellfudge.

Just wait til I decide
what you read and who dies.

Hellfudge.

You think we’re finished
boy, you must be queer
we get a little stronger
every year
when I bilk your money
I’m moral, man
but I got a little problem
I just can’t say no
to that hellfudge.

So take off them clothes
slowly now, slowly
and twitch your little flounder just like that
yehhhh… just like they do.

In all the smut rags I pretend I hate so much
bite down real hard
smile …. SLUT!
I own you … look humiliated, try to cry
I despise you so much I hate myself
mmmmmm…
Tastes almost as good
as one of them green bubblegum cigars
yeh! hellfudge.
There’s a whole LOTTA Shakin’ goin’ on in here
but don’t tell my cousin, OK?
Yeeeeh!
Great balls ‘o’ fire!
Hellfudge!